daily pages
having a post that i'm drafting open all day is something i have tried before, and i'm doing it again for this and i really like it. i don't want to go about every second wondering how i'm going to record it later, which is another problem with photography, but i have to admit it is fun to think about things and imagine myself writing them.
yesterday we ordered chinese food. our grocery order didn't go thru because we needed it sooner than the available times so we just went and grabbed things instead. shopping with a budget, even a large enough one, will make the trip annoying. but when you don't have to really think about it, it's wild how almost fun it can be. we grabbed surprise plushies for the kids, something we can never do but can suddenly. and it was nothing, it was a whim, and they are both cuddling them right now.
it felt so good to have an appetite again, and to just eat every time i saw a bite i wanted to take lol.
i realized my last post will be dated for today because i did post it this morning, but i will keep the friday oct 30 tags on it because that is the day i wrote it. i also have to remember to hit save as draft, because i nearly lost this post. ik i have the option to change the date in a meta way here on bear blog but i'll leave it. it's like adding to a lie, i'm gonna have more tracks to cover later so let's keep it simple.
today i went to the thrift store with my fox cub. i spent hours in there, looking for sweaters and pants, and whatever else. i have to remember that i have pants, and that i mainly need pants for walking to the bus stop in the winter. i found a pair i'm hoping will be a perfect layer over thick leggings, they seem to be a windbreaker material.
yeah this isn't normally the kind of thing i find myself craving to blog about. i guess these mundane little things are closer to journaling. i am also trying to journal i suppose, but this has given me a tiny realization that what i want to end up with and how i want to make it are different.
i want to end up with a sprawling, prolific blog. what does that look like? for the hollow, more pages defining and maybe even linking to other pages, like a wiki. what else? consistent blogging. i always drop the blog ball. i love love love reading others' blogs, proverbially picking up what they put they put down, no matter what they wrote about. a new brand of marshmallows in the hot chocolate? lit! a long form autobiographical dialogue written verbatim from a heated argument with a grandma? hello i'm so there. but my groceries and my dialogues are boring to me idk.
one thing i know i miss for sure is stream of consciousness. i guess i'm doing it now. it's not always easy, which is so strange. daily pages, three pages, blah blah blah. and this routine is like someone's stimulant. don't talk to me until i've released my stream of consciousness or something. i can't do that every day let along every morning. but any ways when i can just write and write, i love to. and when i can hit on a theme or topic or just words i liked putting together, it's just everything. it's the sun. i want to find the sun at the hollow. it is here because i am here and sanctuary is here, but i mean i want to define these things.
i am thc edible high (this is common and i only bring it up if it is relevant i swearrr i swear i'm not like the others i have other mundane personality traits not just weed-) so doing a stream of consciousness would be patronizing as you can see how that's already gone. i am unfortunately a couch stoner a wow the universe stoner a pizza stoner. i had a sober shower thought that tattoo artists are lucky that their canvases pay them. my high thoughts can not reach this degree of unlock. when i am high i need everyone to hold hands and. new paragraph please. staff,
i think i am out of things to say. i have an incredible desire to go to bed